Christmas 2014 – The joy of Christmas

Not in trees and lights but in the family

We are in the season of Christmas and preparing to celebrate this festival in our own ways. As we do so may be should take a look at how some others are doing and expecting this Christmas.

Mr.A is a 60year old man who was so busy putting up his Christmas tree and the decorations in the typical colors of Christmas. These are not cheap anymore but he says he has been doing that for 50 years and that brings the Christmas mood. For him there is no Christmas without the decorated Christmas tree. He was so excited about his children returning home for Christmas to spend just 2 days with them.

Mr.B is a 68 year old man who says Christmas in not what it used to be when he was young when all his brothers and sisters, seven of them, would come back home and spend valuable time together with their parents. Today although he still has some of them around, but sadly they are not in talking terms. In fact he becomes so sad when reflecting on Christmas of the past with them.

Mr.C is a 70 year old retiree. When his own children were young he used to have such wonderful times with them, buying new clothes, presents and spring-clean his home. He remembers the lavish dinners with roasted turkey and wine. Today he sits alone with his wife and wait but their children are too busy to come home. They give all sorts of excuses for being not able to come home for Christmas.

Mrs.D is an 80 year old woman who is sitting alone in an old folk’s home for the past 3 years. She waits eagerly for the return of the only daughter to take her home for Christmas or at least come to spend some time with her. She did not come the last 3 years but she hopes she will turn up this year. She is anxiously waiting for her with great hopes. Will the daughter turn up?

Mrs.E is a 60 year old man used to celebrate Christmas in a very happy way with his parents, children and siblings. This year his daughter wants to leave the home due to some incompatible differences. Christmas is not the same any more as his heart is preoccupied with the daughter wanting to leave him.Will she leave him?

Yes, Christmas reminds us of Christmas trees, decorations, new clothes, roasted turkey and wine. But is this auspicious day all about these physical things? What does Christmas mean to you? What does the birth of Jesus mean to us who call ourselves to be his followers?

When we were young Christmas was about trees, lights, feasts, clothes and gifts. At that time the family unity was not an issue as our children were small and loved our company. We took family unity for granted but today when they are adults themselves things have changed. The trees and lights, feasts and gifts are all there but the family may not be there. Now we realize it is not the trees and lights that brings us joy but the family unity.

As we celebrate Christmas this year let us remember the many families that are disintegrated and separated. Let us remember the parents who are longing for their children and also those children who have been left neglected by their parents. We pray that the infant Jesus guide them to bring back the true joy of Christmas back into their lives once again.

Those of us who have caused hardship and pain to others and those living in sin let us allow Jesus to be reborn into our lives to guide us in right path which would bring His joy to us,our families and those around us.

A joyous and blessed Christmas.

Christmas time for forgiveness

As Christians celebrate Christmas this year they do so with great deal of anxiety and fear over the uncertainties of their future in the country. The prevalent Muslim-Christian tensions is the country created by certain quarters for political gains is indeed really a real threat to the existing peace and harmony among the various races in the country. This together with the threats of ISIS in the world has thrown the world into chaos from which we may never recover. 

In our country all sorts of accusations have been made against the Christians for trying to convert the Muslims to Christianity. The irony is that these are done by those who have little or no knowledge of what Christianity is all about. They refuse to dialogue or reason but are only interested in throwing wild accusations without any evidence to prove their allegations.

Like in all religions there could be over zealous Christians who believe in aggressive propagation of their faith but by and large this group is small and insignificant in a country where Christians for just about 9% of the population. The majority of the Christians are mature, wise and law abiding and would never want to do anything that is against in the country’s constitution which forbids preaching their faith to fellow Muslims. 

Christianity, like all major religions, is about love not hate, about peace not war and it is about charity and helping the less fortunate regardless of race or creed. It is about sharing the little they have with those who don’t have anything. To accuse them of wanting to convert the Muslims to their faith is utterly wrong and mischievous.

In the world today there is so much hate towards people of different faiths. Even in our country this hate is gaining foothold which the religious and political leaders are not serious in putting a stop to it. The “Allah” issue is the main cause of this. Our pride as a nation of diverse origins living together in peace and harmony is fast eluding us and it is time that everyone make serious and genuine efforts to stop this. 

As ordinary citizens we are helpless as religious and racial hate is propagated with blatant disregard for the laws. Even the law enforcers do not seem to do anything to stop the irresponsible people from trying to incite trouble. We are sad that the peace and goodwill that we struggled to build over half a century is going to be destroyed by this hate politics of the minority. We see destruction and disruption coming and want to do something to thwart it but not sure what to do. Where do we from here? Who can we turn for help? Even God does not seem to hear to our plea.

The answer came to me in the form of a sermon from a priest recently. He said that the solution for all our troubles is within us which is simple but most difficult – forgiveness. It is in forgiving those who preach hate towards us that will stop their injustice and aggression towards us, not confrontation or court battles. But forgiving the ‘enemy’ is the most difficult thing to do. It needs a lot of humility and strength to do so and many of us don’t have them.

Today we are hated and denied our rights to even worship God in our way. Christmas is about forgiveness. Are we willing to forgive those who provoke us, propagate hate towards us and even persecute us? It is difficult but for the sake of peace and love, we have no option but to do so like what Jesus himself did.

Are we willing to forgive those who prevent us from using ‘Allah’ and seize and mutilate our Bibles? Are we willing to forgive those who throw all forms of false accusations and insults? Are we willing to forgive those who say that they cannot greet us during this Christmas? Are we, like Jesus, prepared to forgive those who do not know what they are doing? These are the pertinent questions that we must ask ourselves as we celebrate this Christmas.

In the eyes of men forgiveness is a sign of weakness but in the eyes of God it is sign of great strength

A blessed and Joyous Christmas

Are marriages made in heaven?

Lessons on marriage from a successful couple

Recently I had the opportunity to attend a dinner in honour of a couple celebrating their 45^th wedding anniversary. They were both in their late sixties and did not have much wealth or were not in high positions but were extremely happy spending their time visiting their grown up children and grandchildren locally and overseas. I am sure they had their problems and challenges in their lives which they had managed to overcome and keeping their marriage intact for such a long time. I was impressed with what the wife said about the success of their married life. 

She gave wonderful account of their secret of success being together despite the ups and downs in their life. It was nothing but love which we often take for granted. To her, love for her husband consisted of 2 things. Firstly it was forgiving him for whatever he said or did that hurt her as she believed that “he does not know what he was doing” and secondly she was always quick to say “I’m sorry” whenever she feels she had said or done something wrong. It was that simple which many couples find it so difficult to do thereby resulting in breakdown of their marriage.

I am sure all of us who are already married for years now have a lot to learn from this elderly couple. Their experience is a great lesson for not just us but many who are in the process of taking their first step into married life. In a world driven by materialism, matrimony is fast losing its sanctity leading to infidelity and divorce but to have a couple who has been faithful to each other for 45 long years in our midst is indeed a blessing for us which we must treasure to the utmost.

Marriage is not about finding the right partner but being the right partner ourselves as there will be never a perfect person custom made for anyone. It is we who make the marriage not others as they will never be able to that. We often belief that marriages are made in heaven and pass the responsibility to God to keep us together in thick and thin, not realising that marriages, may be made in the presence of God, but is made right here on earth, in our homes and families. Others can only break not make a marriage.

Almost every marriage starts out as a huge and at times a grand celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. As today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey. Very often they drop off their journey for very trivial reasons.

Most problems that lead to the breakdown in marriage can be traced back to the most important factor - love, which we all think we have in abundance for each other. True, we may have abundance of love for each other when we started the journey years back but during the course of the arduous journey through rough terrain, we find the love that we thought was deep enough was just not strong enough to keep us bound together. It was just the physical beauty that kept us together not true love that could stand the test of time.

The type of love that is needed in marriage is well described in 1Corinthians 13, “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrong doing. It does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres.".Do we have such a love for our spouse?

The first 20 years of marriage is usually the happiest time when the children are small and we slog for their happiness and well being. Indeed their happiness brings great satisfaction to us. All that is needed is hard work for which we had energy in abundance at that stage in our lives. We have the strength, charm and beauty of youth which keeps us together as husband and wife.

The second 20 years is the most trying time as during that time we begin to lose our physical beauty and vitality. The children leave home and their peer influence becomes stronger that our own. They become independent making important decisions by themselves at times not even consulting us. We watch helplessly with dismay when our children make wrong decisions in major events in their lives.

It is the period of trials and tribulations when sickness and other tragedies may strike us and our families. It is a period of great difficulties, uncertainties and trials which can drive apart even the most loving couples.

It is the time when our trust in God is being put to the test. It is very easy to say “Lord I love you” when times are good but extremely difficult to say that in times of tragedy. If we can remain united, endure and overcome the pain together as husband and wife with unwavering trust in God during this period of great difficulties as we promised to God when we took our matrimonial vows, then He will bless us with success, peace and happiness in the final stage of our journey in life.

It is in difficulties that we become closer if only we keep our promise to God and to our spouse to be “true to each other in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love  and honor each other all the days of our life till death do us apart.”